Okay, the rules are simple. Just take the wish above yours and corrupt it. After that, make a new wish to corrupt.

Example: 1. I wish I had a better computer.
So 2 could be: Your computer becomes sentient and submits your email to over 5000 spam companies.

So here's number 1. I wish for a Rolex.

When you get your Rolex, you discover that it is stolen, and the real owner pursues you legally and you spend the next 10 years in prison.

2. I wish my soap was on a rope.

You get soap on a rope, because you're in jail.

3. I wish I was dumber

your wish came true, and you were hit by a truck while you crouched on the asphalt of a busy road, looking at the patterns in the cracks.

4. I wish my papers would write themselves.

Your papers do write themselves, and they're quite good, but they're all printed in 36pt comic sans, with well-hidden limericks about your personal hygiene.

5. I wish I knew what I want to be when I grow up.

You find out what you want to be when you grow up only to discover that it involves heat, grease, shouting and many smelly mops.

6. I wish I had more hair.

Your hair suddenly starts to grow until you look like Cousin It & then it smothers you.

7.) I wish my job paid me more money.

You get a huge raise. In fact it is so huge that the company can no longer afford to stay in business and closes down putting you (and everyone else) out of work.

8.) I wish I could live forever.

The earth is consumed with fire the very next day, leaving nothing but space dust in its wake. Oh, and you, floating through the frigid cosmos, lungs collapsed in the vacuum but still very full of life... for all eternity.

9. I wish for world peace.

The world is taken over by a superior alien race, putting an end to wars between humans and making us all their slaves.

10. I wish I had had breakfast

As you are walking towards a restaurant your wish comes true. a 1000 pound piece of bacon, cooked to perfection, lands on your head and you die a tasty death.

11. I wish I could fly

You are flying around one day, when a seagull above you takes a massive dump that splats in your face. In a rage you swoop after the gull to take revenge, miss it and fly headlong into the turbine of a 747, getting minced into a thousand pieces.

12. I wish my farts smelt of geraniums.

You contract a rare disease that allows tiny seeds to germinate in your intestines. As flowers grow in your bowels the pain is horrific and you beg those around you for death. Your farts though do smell of geraniums...

I wish I was young again...

You wake up tomorrow a squalling infant left in a trash can. Nobody hears your cries.

I wish I could go to college.

You go to college...only to be recruited by the McCain campaign and judged by a jury of your peers...you don't get a date until your 32nd birthday...

I wish I was a fish!

No worries - insult anybody in a nightclub and you'll be well battered.

I wish I could think of something genuinely pithy and amusing.

You do, but with your Anterograde amnesia you forget it 3 seconds later and say something stupid instead.

I wish you got your wish

I did , but with my Anterograde amnesia, I forgot it 3 seconds later and said something stupid instead.

Right now, I wish I wasn't stuck in some kind of paradoxical time-loop...

The time loop ends &, in utter confusion, you wander into a busy street. It doesn't end well.

I wish my cats weren't so stupid.

They're smart enough that they figure out how to feed themselves and kick you out of your own house, since they no longer need you.

I wish I didn't have to work today.

Congratulations! In about five minutes, the janitor will walk by and ask, "Why on earth are you here? Everyone left for the Hawaii conference an hour ago!" Looks like you're done working for today...

I wish bacon was a healthy food.

It is, but you're a vegetarian.

I wish spikeyboy hadn't made me spit my coke laughing.

You spit our your coke so massively that it partially shorts your keyboard out, and you are left to type in Welsh or Hawaiian...

I wish that pigs could fly!

A squadron of Russian bomber pigs appears on the horizon, and minutes later, your town is reduced to a smoldering rubble.

I wish I was in Dixie.

You are - Hayseed Dixie. Unfortunately, you've been reincarnated as a jug of hooch.

I wish there was some non-lethal way of getting rid of my migraines. (sadly, I'm serious...)